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August 18, 2004

And now, terrible Code: Lyoko Fanfiction Theatre!

Zana Is An Evil Bitch
A Code: Lyoko Fanfic
---
"How's the Materialization program coming, Jeremy? I can't wait to bang you three ways from tuesday." Aelita stared at from the computer screen at her sexy god, Jeremy, with intense interest AND sex.
"I probably shouldn't have described sex to you," Jeremy said, barely looking up from the hardcore typing he was doing. "It's been all you've talked about since. Then again, it'll save me time when you do get out here in the real world, where Zana can never ever fuck with us again."
"Yup. Only I will fuck with you, then."
"Aelita, you're making me blush..."
"Oh, I wasn't aware you had those kinds of conversations!" Od said, walking into the room looking definately gay. Definately. Definately likin' the guys. Gay.
"Yeah, indeed. That's almost as freaky as what me and Umi..."
"Shut the fuck up, Ulrich. That's between you, me, and Kiwi." Umi said, kicking Ulrich squarely in the crotch... and then Od too, just for fun.
"Ow, your knee is in my crotch." Ulrich explained.
"I've almost got this program completed! Seriously! And this time, instead of Aelita being all infected and stuff, she'll have guns! And 17 different variations on the supersexy dance." Jeremy said, quivering in anticipation!
"I like number 12, personally." Aelita completely helpfully added.
"Let's hope Zana doesn't try to stop us." Ulrich stated as he opened a book and then closed it, so as to be doing something.
Then there was explosions.
"Holy crap on a stick, there was bombs!" Od screamed in a very non-straight manner.
"Zana must be using Lyoko to take over the nuclei of atoms and make them split!" Jeremy said, jumping to completely straight conclusions!
"I'll scan Lyoko for an active tower, Mr. Sexy!" Aelita said, scanning Lyoko for an active tower.
"Then let's all get to the factory!" Umi said, even though everyone else was already headed for the factory!
"I'm Jim! Whatcha doing? Can I join your club? DETENTION!"
"Oh no, it's Jim!" Od exclaimed, scanning his masculine physique.
"Whatever shall we do?" Jeremy weeped.
Umi kicked Jim in the crotch.
"Quickly, we haven't much time!" Ulrich cried.
-
Scene where people are skateboarding for no reason!
-
"Okay, we're here in the factory!" Jeremy explained because I'm too lazy to write much other than dialogue.
"We'll get to the Virtualization thingies!" Some random person said.
"Aelita, did you find the tower?" Jeremy asked, playing solitare on the Lyoko computer.
"Yeah, it's in the... floating... island... zone. Wanna cyber?"
"Later. We have to stop Zana! He's such an evil bitch... TRANSFER, UMI! TRANSFER, OD! TRANSFER, ULRICH! Um, are you all in the Lyoko now?"
"No," Ulrich said. "We didn't get in the pods yet."
"Ah. Are you there now?"
"Sure."
"Okay. TRANSFER, UMI! TRANSFER, OD! TRANSFER, ULRICH!"
"Well, here we are, virtualized!" Umi said. "And there's Aelita."
"Hello, everyone! Wanna make out after we save the world?" Aelita said with a smile.
"Um, we're supposed to escort you or something." Ulrich said.
"There are evil Zanathings! I think they're those stupid little spiderwalkers! Watch out!" Jeremy said, eating a sandwhich.
"You all go on ahead!" Ulrich said. "I shall distract them with my amazing virtual powers! TRIPLICATE!"
"Now, fear the three of me!" said Ulrich number 2!
"Hey, I'm a evil spiderthing! Zap Zap!"
"Ow, my lifepoints!" said Ulrich number three, being killed all over the place.
"Hey now. Hey now. IMPACT!" Ulrich number one said.
"I explode! There are more of me, though." Said evil spider thing. Zap Zap!"
"Ow!?" Said Ulrich number one.
"Fucker!" Said Ulrich number two.
"My man is dead, keep running, I shall fight now!" said Umi!
"We are running towards the tower!" said Aelita and Od.
"I am eating another sandwhich and having some lemonade!" said Jeremy.
"Fear the wrath of my fanmove!" said Umi, throwing her fan.
"I am fanned and will explode, but there's another one of me! Zap Zap!" Said evil spider thing.
"I am so dead." said Umi.
"Almost there!" said Jeremy, reading pornographic materials on the internet.
"I shall finish them off, because I have a tail!" said Od. "LAZER ARROW!"
"Boom." Said evil spider thing.
"I am wandering into the tower and typing in my name and password!" said Aelita.
"RETURN TO THE PAST, NOW!" said Jeremy.
--
"So, Jeremy, wanna cyber?" said Aelita.
"Sure." said Jeremy.
THen everyone had a hearty laugh! Go Miguzi!
The end.

Posted by poetfox at August 18, 2004 05:10 PM

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