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December 09, 2005
I should follow Mur's advice, probably.
Random thing I never blogged, if you love music, you owe it to yourself to go here and listen to Skullcrusher Island. It is a work of genius. Oddly enough, I don't really dig the rest of his stuff as much... I honestly don't understand why, because Skullcrusher Island is PURE FUCKING GENIUS. You owe it to your ears to listen.
Once again, I have come home from work annoyed that all I write is blog entries and RP in chat windows. I mean, I enjoy the fuck out of both, but what is going to become of either? I don't really know. I need to finish my short story. I need to write another short story setting up the setting of Tailrazor's world, an idea I become more and more set about the more I think about it. Probably not furry as I envison it, as I envision everything, really, but I think I could make it entertaining in the amazing anime-crazy style I envision it in, even if it's mostly an RPG in my head... but I can't make RPGs, so... you know. Also, I know I really need to learn Flash so I can bring Sapphire City Games to fruition (as well as Essner's webtoon project which I think still has merit... I wonder if he's still thinking about that...). I know this. I don't know if I could MAKE myself learn Flash is the problem... I really can't make myself do anything nowadays except try again to beat something in a game that's frustrating me a bit. I'm smart. I know it wouldn't be that hard for me to learn it. Just buy a book and have at it and in a couple months I'd be pretty okay. This is why I think I consider myself a failure (or at least is a big part of it), because I can't make myself do things I want to do, not because I can't do the things I couldn't give a rats ass about that others want me to do. Blah. I think Sapphire City Games has merit, I think if I was dedicated enough I could make it popular. I think many of my story ideas, my still untitled WriMo, Romantic Subplot, Tailrazor's story of fluxuating title, Family Values (The serious version, not the crazy anime version), Little Lady Luck, and hell, even my old school Reverse Side universe stories have merit. But I can't make myself develop them. I can't put them down on Word document and let them really, truly exist. And this is why I'm a failure, if anything.
What will I be doing after the new year? I really don't know, but I hope it's something that feels worthwhile to me, and not something that sounds good on paper like I've been doing ever since I graduated high school.
Posted by poetfox at December 9, 2005 03:33 AM
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